Denial

I'm finding the format of the blog useful in creating an ongoing narrative.  Once I post a section, that's it.  It's gone.  I don't look at it again.  It's onto what's next, a clean slate and forward progress.  

In past attempts I've opened up a document in Word or Google docs or in Scrivener.  Before adding to the narrative I'd reread all or in part, what came before.  This inevitably leads to editing, improving, tweaking, rearranging.  Say, this is uncomfortably familiar - reminiscent of being in the bathroom with scissors or naked in the hallway.  Before too long I get bogged down.  I lose my momentum and damn it, I can't get what came before right.  Damn, it's exactly the same.  I'll never get it right.  Uh huh.  Same old story - just one more tweak.  What I thought was good is now crap.  Like my haircut.  Who am I fooling?  I don't know what I'm doing.  Ain't that the truth.

That's when the project gets shelved in the bottom of a box or deep inside a folder in a folder in a folder on my Google Drive.  There it sits taunting me.  "Started but not finished," it says tapping a finger on the desk.  

"I'm coming," I say, "but not yet."

With persistence in small increments over time, I hope I will be able to say, "I have a completed shitty first draft," and you will have accompanied me on the ride.  Thanks for the company.