The Third Wheel (Purple Rain) - last paragraph addition

I don't know what came first, the movie or the party. I only know that it came to an end the night he dropped my friend off first. Backing out of her driveway, he looked at me through the rear view mirror and said, "What's the matter with you. Are you a lesbian or something?" Without hesitation I blurted out an indignant, "No!" and turned my head to look out the far-sided window. Heat rose from my neck to my face. I wanted to hide. I thought, How could he think that about me? Yet the sting of humiliation persisted like an unanswered question gnawing at me from the inside.

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Naked in the Hallway

Jessica sat facing me in her green armchair with a mug of water on the small table next to her, the one that held the Kleenex and the small clock which faced her. I sat in the middle of the couch and looked at the floor trying to get up the nerve to spit out my words. I had decided that this would be the day that I would tell her but now that I was there the words wouldn’t come out. It was like like the time my mom stopped me in in the hallway. I was naked with a towel wrapped around my little body. Perhaps I just felt naked or perhaps I’m remembering the black and white snapshot of me, naked and bent over sideways with a towel wrapped around my shoulders, and have inserted that snapshot into this memory. I had just gotten out of her bathtub and was making my way down the hall to my room when my mom called to me from behind. “Were you the one who left the heater on?” she asked in a tone. You know the one. It's the tone that says she already kno...

Evolution of the story: Naked In The Hallway

The first person I wanted to come out to was my therapist. I’d been thinking about my sexuality for 3 years. Was I or wasn’t I? Is it possible to be 40-something and have not figured that out? It took a lot of research, reading, writing, watching, trips to the library, contemplating interactions I’d had throughout my lifespan. It took 3 years to grapple with it and to come out the other side, ready to live honestly and shamelessly. I don’t know why, but in order to do that, there had to be a proclamation, “Hello world! This is who I am and I won’t hide it one more minute!” I imagine standing with my feet apart and my arms outstretched so that they make the letter X as I scream it in the middle of the street. It reminds me of the person who has decided to give themselves to Christ. Why is the ceremony of baptism so important? Can’t a person let Christ into their heart and that be enough? No. No it is not but not for the reason that the nuns in my C...

Bare with me as I figure this whole narrative thing out. What I've spent the last 2 evenings working on I've decided to cut. It's not necessary and it doesn't move the narrative along. The tip off was the fact that it bored me to write it. What follows I think is meant to book end the story. I think the meat of the story is waiting to be written but in keeping with the theme, "show your work", I will present it here. Note that I keep using the words, "I think" because I really have no clue. I just know it feels out of place here. Begin narrative: The thing about the road trip, I just wanted to be there - at the destination. It was a means to an end. That is what coming out was. It had to be done. Like eating aspirin smashed in strawberry jam or giving an oral report, I had to get it over with. I didn't relish it. It wasn't fun, but it brought a sense of relief and of victory. It's the victory which c...

Process

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